Learning More about Loving the Love of My Life

WOW…I just realized it has been 4 months since my last post….guess I have some catching up to do huh!

Well, we finished the love dare book and as I think has been pretty apparent through out the blogs the entire process really brought Jennifer and I to a better place. We are more of a partnership now than ever before in our relationship. Now don’t get me wrong…it isn’t perfect and we both still have the wonderful nack to get under each others skin at times, or to annoy the day lights out of each other…but we have learned to understand and move on much better now.

I feel bad about not keeping up with things better and making the journal more complete on-line but man…I’m busier than I thought! I don’t get how people do it..of course now that I finally have th computer fixed at home this would have been much easier to keep up with! But that’s all in the past.

Over the last few Months Jennifer and I bought a camper for family get a way’s as well as trips with all our friends that camp…they all have campers and after tent camping in rain, cold, heat, well just about everything…a camper is the way to go…esp with a little one!

Speaking on the little one…he isn’t so little anymore….17 Months, walking, running, climbing, talking, pointing, yelling…you name it he is at least trying to do it! I love that little boy and love watching him grow into the man he will become…hopefully I can help make him a better man than I am. I think that is every father’s wish for there child is to be better, happier, wealthier and healthier than they are!

Well that’s all the rambling for now…try and update again soon!

God’s Speed and Best Regards

So, once again this one hits home big time with me. See Jennifer and I play reverse rolls from the normal man and woman stuff…I love shopping(at least for certain things), Jennifer is not so much the shopping type, I am all about cooking and learning about how to cook, Jennifer not so much(although here lately this is changing and I have to introduce my new wife Jennifer”Betty Crocker” Underwood to everyone)!

I seem to always look and find that thing that is newer and better than what I always have…for example…at the moment I want a camper, boat, 4 wheeler, and the lsit could go one for miles! I never thought of this as a form of lust…that word always was hand and hand with sex or things like that to me. But I now see how lust can be for many things. I am going to work on not lusting for these things…I may still dream of one day having them, but I want to be careful to make sure that they are not something that come before, or between Jennifer and I.

I have already made changes in how I spend my time, and I think without even knowing have cut back a lot…I mean I sit here typing this blog thing and normally would be spending this time looking at campers or trucks and other stuff I want…

While I’m sure I will find other areas in my life that I find my self lusting for different things that I will need to let God work in my life to control I know with out a doubt my daily talk and desire to have things is something that really works on Jennifer in a negative way…it’s the first thing I must ask God to help me with to become a better man.

I have put Jennifer and I in bad situations before regarding lust, it seemed so inoccent at first and almost turned into something I’m not sure we could have recovered from…only through God’s hand guilding Jennifer and I, even before this Love Dare, and even before I truly wanted His help were we able to weather the storm I created. My eyes were opened then to how I was not being the man Jennifer needed me to be, my actions are still felt at times today, but Jennifer and I with God’s help have been able to grow closer and stronger and just now have I been able to truly talk to Jennifer about everything and not feel closed in by it all…I was ashamed of what I did and didn’t want to talk about it…I know now with God’s help I must talk with Her about things and be open…

I am one luck man to have such a caring loving wife who saw the man I could be, should be and needed to be, to the point of helping me get through some trying times, that really could have ended the best thing to ever happen to me outside finding Jesus as my savior, my marriage. Thank you for staying with me Honey…I promise you to alway put you first.

So after the rock start I mentioned, I was able to pray and was over whelmed by God’s grace and forgivness. I was able to express my feeling to Jennifer in a calm and truthful way…I apologized for how I acted and we worked it out and moved on…I feel God working in me, and even see it in the way things are happening in my life.

It’s amazing what God can do when you LET HIM!

WOW…talking about a kick in the face, sticking your foot in your mouth! When it comes to things that hinder our relationship, one of the biggest if not only things can be our differences when it comes to how we communicate…and boy did I do a horrible job right off the bat this morning! Reading the dare today I almost melted right under my desk!

Levi had a day yesterday you hear stories about..heres another one He would not take a nap, he was so tired, but he would not nap! It was pretty trying on us…Jennifer was not feeling good and needed a nap herself….but Levi was in mommy mode and dad just wouldn’t cut it! So needless to say Mom did not get her nap!

We finally figured out it had a lot to do with him teething and that helped us get him calmed down some..poor guy…and finally after dinner, Motrin, and a night bottle he gave it up and went to sleep!

Jennifer and I watched a little TV and chatted some, then off to bed for us too! Levi woke up about 1130-mid night and Jennifer asked me to go see if I could get him back to sleep…well I was jsut off to sleepy land myself and so my reaction was not the best(I did it but with a mid set that was wrong). I got him back down and no sooner had I settled back in he was back up…at this point I knew the best thing to do was get him out of the room with the monitor so hopefully Jennifer could rest…my motives at this point were good and I was trying to do the right thing.

We(Levi and I) headed to the living room for the night and we both actually got some rest…althought he was up and down a good bit through out the night( I’m seriously glad I don’t much remember teething…I might be scared for life if I did!) I had left my blackberry in our bed room and when the alarm went off at 0645 this morning Jennifer came looking for us…I think she might have rested some….and for a reason unknown, other than the devil trying to undo what the love dare has began to do(draw Jennifer and I closer and stronger as a couple) I was irrate…I was mad for everything and nothing all at the same time…I left the house in a fuss, thought I had calmed down and called Jennifer to apologize…she didn’t answer and it made me ill all over again…she called right back and I let her have it…I was jsut plain mean…I tried to make things her fault and they weren’t…I really had to pray after we got off the phone for clarity and peace and for the Lord to take over and rid me of this anger I was feeling…it was crazy…the devil knows that I am trying to become the man I should be and we are trying to have the relationship God wants us to have and he is really working to try and stop it…you would think he( the Devil) would know by now he is going to loose…God is on our side! Some people jsut don’t get it

As far as today’s dare…we are back to things I see really being useful and makes perfect sense…I am asking the Lord to take away and help me control my impulses, allowing Jennifer and I to rest on each other without the fear of a knee jerk reaction as the love dare has mentioned in the past.

I think there are may temptations that can be laid in front of us to pull us away from what God wants…I pray now everyday that I am able to see them for what they are and adjust my path as a husband and father to be able to be the man my family needs me to be.

Until the nest time…

WOW…talking about taking a break! On thing is for sure, while the holdiay’s are a wonderful time…boy they sure do make it hard to stay on top of the everyday things we do! While I took a break from blogging I was able to still find time to read the Love Dare and stay on top of that…it truely is a priority for me.

I also found that blogging and getting my thoughts down on paper in a more timely manner is a good thing…

Over the last several days reading the Dare I found myself not connecting with the dares as much as in the first few days….I felt like the things were for people that are “farther gone” in their relation ship(s).  It feels like Jennifer and I are in a much better place and don’t have some of the issues that would cause us to have to really make a point to do some of these things, we are already doing them! That’s a good feeling!

I do plan to go back and re-read the last few days of the Love Dare and make sure that it isn’t the Devil throwing false comfort at me and really make an effort to handle each day’s dare, in some way.

Christmas was wonderful around out house this year. We had dinner at Jennifer’s parents house Christmas Eve, it was a really nice evening with all the immediate family there. All the kids had a great time and it was nice to see everyone. We then had a evening at the house putting together Levi’s big gift…there were a tense moment or two as Jennifer and I had out different views on how best to put it together…but It got done and come Christmas Morning Levi loved it!

No call this the dad in me, call it the proud parent or whatever you would like to call it…but Levi was so wonderful to watch opening gifts…I have never in my life seen a 13 month old react with such joy and happiness to gifts…every single one of them! Each gift was greeted with a smile and ooohs and ahhhs….he made everone feel special and like a million bucks for each gift he got…kids have this ability to do that, even when least expected!

It was a long day, but a good one…nap time may have been the best part of Christmas day this year

Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself a little…I kind of took care of today’s dare in procrastinating(sp) to do yesterday’s dare….but non the less I still have a few ideas…I just had to go ahead and type this today before I go home to a broken computer…How great is it that once again the Love Dare builds on the previous day(s) in such simple, reasonable manners…I mean I’m just in shock at how this works…be kind to one another…it’s just that simple….ho easily we all fall into doing things our way, looking out for only our needs and completely fore going the needs of the person who we swore in public and before God Himself that we would always care and provide for…I don’t know what Jennifer put on her list of negitive things about me…but the more I read this book….I bet I could fill a book of my own with them…it’s time to get right with God and my wife!

To be Continued tomorrow…

And now for the continuation of Day 11:

It was a very pleasant evening, I got home and to my surprise Jennifer had dinner jsut about on the table! I got home and Levi came running over to me, I took him to the living room and we played for a minute to give mom a chance to finish up dinner without a growth clinging to her leg

Of course, as I sit there playing with Levi a smell over took us…it was no longer the wonderful aroma of the fabulous dinner Jennifer was fixing, yet a more sour….well…poop smell. So with out hesitation I just said I got it, grab a diaper and wipes and went in.( those who know me, know I don’t do well with poop smells…I’m tough but that smell is just hard to stomach!) I changed the diaper with realitive ease and it was time for dinner…it was nice, Jennifer did a wonderful job on it all.

After dinner I started the dryer to “fluff” what had been sitting in there, so I could take it out and fold the clothes. This was one of the things I thought about for today’s dare…I sat down, honestly don’t remember what for and the next thing I know I see Jennifer folding the clothes!!!!!! I told her I was planning to do that, she said I was just doing it because the dryer jsut shut off…there went that thign I could do to help! So I’m sitting there watching a Christmas movie with the family trying to figure out what I could do to be helpful, that I normally don’t do then as I got up to get soemthing to drink from the kitchen it just hit me…hey the dishwasher is full, clean and just finished…so I just unloaded it and put everything up! Jennifer had fallen asleep on the sofa so she had no idea what I had done.

We went to bed, and got up this morning and did our normal thing, read today’s Love Dare then off the drop Levi at the grandparents and to work. Jennifer called and we were having our normal morning chat while on the way to work, and I mentioned I had unloaded the dishwasher and put everything up last night…she was SO EXCITED! and thanked me…I was so excited and thankful I had actually thought to do it!

The best part about it is that I didn’t mind doing it…it wasn’t a chore, I wasn’t pressured into doing it…I just thought about it and did it…it’s amazing how that doing something this simple can be a blessing to the person that thought they would have to do it. This is the kind of things that makes me love. how the Love Dare book approaches everything, by focusing on the little things that we tend to over look or not put on our important things to do list we are showing true love and kindness, thoughtfulness, and care to our spouse in ways that they truely appreciate.

The little things matter, being thoughtful enough to help around the house, help with your kids, just flat out be helpful to your spouse…it will make all the difference in the world….try it and see!

Ok, so I am now caught up…whew…Day 10 was a little rocky. I felt the Devil pulling at both jennifer and I. I felt myself wanting to be the guy I had let myslef become over the last few years, not wanting to communicate, jsut leave me alone…and it showed big time in how Jennifer and I got a long.

I fought the urges to lash out or be combative as much as I could and the day ended up pretty well. I went to bed without actually having done the dare for today, but knowing what I wanted to do…and first thing this morning I did…it may sound silly but we have a hard time making out bed, I noticed Jennifer saying that she hated the sheets being so cold when we got in them at night, so this morning I got up, and made the bed…putting an extra blanket on her side to hopfully help make it not so cold when we get in the bed for her tonight. It’s nothing big or extravagant(sp) but I think it’s one of those things that shows my love for her in the fact that I took something she said,simple as it maybe and acted to make it better for her with out having to be beat over the head to do it. I’ll see how it goes tonight and well see….

Again this book makes me think that having a successful marriage is not impossible, we just have to not take things forgranted and always remember that it’s the small things we did when we dated and courted our spouse that continuing to do will make us a stronger and lasting couple with a strong marriage…the hardest things in life that seem to be such a huge hill to climb can be so simple if you break them down…thank you Love Dare for breaking marriage down for us!

Ok, lets just say I have heard my whole life that you decide when you wake up what kind of day you are going to have(see dad…I did listen/sometimes) I agree with that and that you may not control what happens but you are the only person that can control how you respond to a situation and if you start your day off right and in a good mood you may very well handle a bad situation much better than if you wake up and start the day off mad at the world for no good reason!

Now that I have given you the life lesson my dad gave me, you may see where I’m coming from when I say…HOW COULD I HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF TODAY’S DARE BEFORE!!!! And moreover…why and I so bad at doing it????? This makes so much since to me that it almost makes me sick!

I read this and thought”…man, I can do this. It makes perfect since and could very well change how we interact…”. So I happened to be at home working on cleaning out the gutters, and other “manly” jobs around the house, while Jennifer was off at her sisters for a Happy Birthday Jesus party(With Levi our little one)…I thought when she calls me(I as asleep when they left this morning) I am going to go over board and be so warm it melts the phone when I answer….and well you know what…she called right in the middle of me dragging limbs out of the yard and, well you know…working breathing hard and all that…so lets just say that as much as I tried to recover I failed miserably!!!!!!!!!

It was the same old story for most of the weekend…I just plain and simple did not do a good job at this dare…again it is on my list of things to make sure no matter what I do and make a part of my every day actions.

One more check for the Love Dare on the slap me up side the head and say “duh” board!!!!!!

Again I am catching up from a weekend of not being able to write as things are/were fresh in my mind. But Day 8 was a good day. I wasn’t able to burn the list today, but it has been burned since!

I do have to admit that I don’t think I completed the day 8 dare to it’s fulliest possibility…meaning that I thought to hard about it, and now looking back I could have praised Jennifer for many things that she has done, and done well recently…but I guess i was looking for some kind of big stand out thing, and now it seems silly…I can’t even think of an example….but know that Jennfier has accomplished many things and is making strides to be a better person, friend, mother, and wife and for that she deserves all the praise, cheering and support I and all of those around her can give.

I will make sure to tell her how proud of her I am in the coming days, weeks, months and years to make sure she knows I am and will always be her #1 fan!

Short and sweet today!

So I am way behind…time to get caught up on my trip through this book!( I have to get moving on getting the computer at home fixed!) So Thursday(12/11) was day seven for me of the Love Dare.

As I read the book it seemed that it was a little off, I never thought it would be a good thing to try and focus on the bad or negitive things about my wife. But since I am serious about doing this I sat down and started trying to come up with the 2 list that is a part of the dare. What I found kind of amazed me, I had the hardest time coming up with negative things, I was able to stress out and find 3(that I still think are a reach, but none the less I wrote them down). I started on the positive(S) list and WOW…the flowed out of me like water out of a broken pipe! The more positive things I wrote down the more I realized how wonderful my wife is, and that for the most part the negitive things I had found  were mostly caused or due to my own selfishness…talk about humbling!

I then took the opportunity to combine a previous day’s dare with the other part of today’s, I took a few minutes out of my day at work and called Jennifer to tell her that I think she is probly the most thoughtul person I know, she always is thinking about what she can do for others to make them happy and help them…at times I can look at this negitively but I realized that in doing that I am just being selfish. She also make sure to, no matter what is going on think about me, and what I would think about it…Jennifer is simply the most thoughtful person I know…it’s a beautiful thing ans trait in a person!

By the way…to lend a little more insight on what I was talking about when it comes to the positive and negitive list…3 negitives…18 positives( I just stopped when almsot filling the pad I was writing it on)!