Robin’s Hope

Today’s Dare came on a good day. This morning was very busy. I was called out to work at 4:30am and was late getting back. My husband got up with my daughter to get her ready for school but she was sick. When I got home I checked on her and got my son up. He has a recorder class at school early on Tuesday’s.  After driving him to school after a huge ordeal to get him ready on time I came home. I worked on the computer for awhile. Then I told my husband he had to get ready for his Dr. appt. My husband had to see the Doctor today about his finger. He released him to go back to work. He is glad. I guess after 3 weeks he’s ready to get back to work. The Dare came in during all of the craziness this morning. I noticed he doesn’t handle stress well. Everybody was yelling and asking for things at different times. He had to be at the Doctor. When he got home I was trying to start his van and it wasn’t turning over. (Loose battery cable) I could just see him coming to a boiling point. That’s when it hit me. I have to help keep his stress level down. Stress doesn’t really bother me. As a mom I think its just a part of life. It wears on my husband! I did feel better because I knew what I had to help with.

I don’t think I actually cause the stress but I know what has to be done to relieve it. I can do that! So I think I will talk to the kids about yelling around him. They are kids that are loud and have fun. Sometimes they need to respect him and his requests of toning it down.

As far as talking to him directly about it…I will talk to him about helping with his stress. Maybe tonight. But I will do it tactfully. I don’t want him to think I think he can’t handle it. I just want to make his life easier. That in turn will make my life happier!

Great day for this Dare. I think I put too much pressure on my husband to help me at home with the house and kids. Then when he helps me I criticize him for it. Like today, he cleaned, folded clothes, washed dishes, made beds, and took my son to buy a shirt for pictures tomorrow. He had even written everything down on a sheet of paper so I would know what he did. That was because last week I told him he was sleeping in until 12:00, then jumping up before I got home. (He is out of work with a broken finger). The shirt he got our son was a great choice. He also bought a wrestling shirt. I of course had to say, I wouldn’t of bought that so its a good thing you did. - Should of held my tongue. They had a good evening together and that should of made me happy. Then I got mad because our son hadn’t done his homework. I told him he was taking advantage of his Dad. So I am sure that went over like a brick. Sometimes I am too hard. He does try and I should appreciate his help no matter what it is. This was an eye opener! I need to encourage and not discourage. I will work hard on this from now on!

Okay today’s Dare should have been hard. But it was not! The only reason being…I can’t keep a secret. I tell on myself. For example, I backed my car into his. I put a scrach on his car. For days I struggled to keep my mouth shut. When we got to the beach on vacation five days later we were watching the kids play in the ocean and my mouth just blurted out “I hit your car”. That’s how its always been. If he asks me a question and I am trying not to tell him its written on my face. He laughs because I can’t keep anything from him. So today I could not confess and ask for forgiveness! I guess I should be happy and proud! But during Christmas its not anything to be proud of because I can’t keep a secret even about his present.

Thankfully, our daughter is following in my footsteps. She tells on herself. I told her one time, “I don’t have to worry about you because you will tell on yourself before I can ask”. Now my son is a little different! My husband, law enforcement officer, says I can read people and I know when you are telling a lie. Sometimes it works because my husband can read him. Sometimes it doesn’t. I hope that by raising him in church and teaching him right from wrong…we can prevent problems later on. Parenting now-a-days is so hard. We try and keep the kids busy. Daughter dances almost everyday. Son plays baseball and basketball. We feel like by doing this we are keeping them in activities to keep them out of trouble. I do pray that God looks after my kids. They are my greatest gifts. God truely completed my life with them. They are the best parts of my husband and I. I tell people I work with that work is my second job. My first is the most important job I will ever have and it was given to me by God…being a Mom.

Robin’s Hope is feeling so blessed and FULL OF HOPE!

This is going to be hard for me. I have forgiven everything…going back as far as my daughter being born. Its the forgetting. I don’t hold any hard feelings towards him for anything in the past. We both hurt each other. I just think about them sometimes when I am hurting. - I havn’t thought much about it the last 25 days. I have concentrated on him and the good things. I am going to try very hard to leave everything in the past. Not to think about it anymore. I have to trust that God will watch over both of us. I don’t want us to hurt each other anymore. Hurt each other or those who love us. I am so happy now. I love him so much. I remember the butterflies I used to get because I have those now. It’s falling in love with him all over again.

My son has had tournaments for the last three weekends and we’ve missed church. This book has reminded me everyday how important God is in my life and in the life of our family. Tomorrow is our last tournament until Spring and we can return to church next weekend. I am thankful for our church family and our pastor. Since I began this journey I have come to realize how blessed I am to have our church.

Robin’s Hope

This dare for me happened about 2 months ago. Our pastor did a sermon series on this. I think it was an eye opener for my husband and I. Where we live it can be a “money area” and alot of people fall into the wants of the area. Cars, boats, houses, toys, etc. I think since I do the finances and know that I don’t want to be in debt its easier for me to resist lust for material things. Of course I have always wanted a new home. This home is one my husband and his first wife built. But I also know that I don’t want a larger payment. We struggle at times but not like we did several years ago. I enjoy being able to go more and do for our children. I have no desire to be with anyone besides my husband so that’s never been an issue for me. I have looked at the way husbands treated their wives and wanted to be treated like they were. But I found out even those marriages aren’t great. Wives lie to their husbands about money. Husbands lie to their wives about where they are. I would rather have my marriage anyday! So I guess I don’t have any true lusts now. The pastor put me in check a couple months ago. AND its something we focus on here. Especially with our kids. Growing up in this are where friends have Million dollar homes compared to $150,000.00 homes is a huge difference. We explain that money isn’t everything. I tell my daughter money doesn’t make people happy. The big house is nice but maybe the parents don’t get to spend the time we do with their kids. The Dad might be out of town so he can’t attend recitals and baseball games.

I will make a point to be careful with lust because I know it can destroy a marriage.

I’ve really thought about today’s Dare. Remove anything hindering your relationship or addictions. I don’t really have any addictions. I do read. I do get on the computer, especially since I am doing the Love Dare. I watch General Hospital. I don’t think I watch it thinking my life should be like the soap opera. I lived a soap opera before I met my husband. Its been nice to have stability. So I am not sure what I would need to give up.  I watch GH when I have time because I DVR it. He would get upset if I watched it when I got home and the kids were doing homework. I occasionally still do that but not often. I watch it when everyone is in bed or not here. Reading I do at the beach, in bed, outside when no one is at home - just to relax. I love historical romance books. Can’t say I expect my life to be a historical romance. It is nice to go into a different place and time just to relax. Long story short I don’t think I have anything that really is a “hang-up” in our marriage. I will limit my time on each of the things above and maybe that will help…but I don’t think they are a problem.

I know a lot of people read these post. Does anyone know if there is a radio station that reads the bible? When I was little my Grandma used to get up early every morning and listen to a radio station. The announcer would read the bible and she would follow along. I thought it was something that I could do if they still did it. I’m sure its been 30 years ago so maybe they don’t do that anymore.

I spent the day with my husband. We went for lunch and then rode around to different places. We also had a meeting with our son’s school. It’s nice to have time together. I think I’ve realized we don’t get enough of that. We are so caught up in being parents we lose ourselves as husband and wife. I hope that we can make time for just us and not lose the special time alone. It brings us closer together. It reminds me in the short time we are together how much I love him and actually miss the “us” time. Maybe a date day or night once a month will be something we can arrange.

I would have thought this Dare would have been towards the beginning. Then after I thought about the Dare’s leading up to this one..maybe its because I wouldn’t have been ready. I can say that my husband is accepting of my love and returning it. I don’t think he would have if I had not taken this book seriously. It has helped me change who I am. - Now I still do things he doesn’t like. I still get involved in things that maybe I shouldn’t. Ex. School issues. I think that’s who I am. I stand up for things I believe in. He listens to my reasoning a little more but doesn’t always agree. But husband and wives aren’t going to agree on everything.

Weeks ago, when we were a day away for seperating I told him I would love him whether he loved me or not. I did. I began this journey to show him I would not give up. I learned that this journey would show me how not to give up. God has worked in my life to show me how to love him so he can love me in return.  I know without a doubt I would have ended up without my husband without God’s presence in my life. Prayer, faith and my love for God and my family has given me the chance to live my life differently. To show my husband how important he is to me. To love him unconditionally - even when he forgets to pack water for our daughter to take to school, not read to our son, help in the kitchen, pick his dirty clothes up. These things are small compared to a life without him. Even if he isn’t perfect he is still the man I promised to love for better or worse. The better outweighs the bad. I have to concentrate on the good in him and leave the rest behind.

Today’s Dare was really good for me. Read the bible. So I started this morning in Proverbs and I have read 5 chapters. I have to say I have trouble understanding everything and have to read it twice but I feel good knowing I am reading the bible. My husband says, Instead of watching General Hospital or reading a book why don’t you read the bible? I am now. I am also still going to watch GH and read books. It’s nice sometimes to get away in a book to relax. I’ve watched GH since I was in High School so I doubt I’ll give that up. It does aggravate me that he focuses that much on it but… I am trying to change and live better so if I read it for myself or for him it can’t hurt,

Today we went to sell some old gold we had. My husband still has not bought my anniversary present from the 2nd. I’m anxious to see if he does it. Really I don’t care anymore. I am just thankful we are married and that we are working though our marriage. Then we went to eat lunch with his Aunt and 2nd cousin. That was nice. His Aunt has had a strong influence on me during our marriage. Years ago she came to me and told me that I was moody and didn’t I know they made medicine for that? She went on to say now-a-days if you aren’t on something you aren’t right. I respected her honesty and followed through with her suggestion. So lunch was great because I haven’t seen her in a while. We kept our friends kids because it was their anniversary. I am happy for them because they have problems like we do. I was hoping she would begin the Love Dare, I bought it for her birthday, but she hasn’t that I know of. I guess because its helped me so much I want everyone to try it. - You have to be open and ready! I am now on my way to bed! Feeling good about my Dare and my day.

God is good all the time….

I am half way through my Love Dare! I really enjoy completing the Dare’s. I know by completing them I am making my marriage stronger but also learning who I am. Its almost like a 40 day walk to find yourself. I have learned I am negative (but my husband helped me there), I am selfish, I need to pray more, and today that I need to rededicate my life to God.

The last one I think came to me yesterday. I knew I was falling off of my commitment and I have tried to work my way back. Now there is no trying, it’s done. I will live my life the way God would want me too. Now I know I will sin because I am human. I can try harder to do the right things. I can raise my children to know the difference between right and wrong. I can continue to go to church with my husband every Sunday and pray God continues to lead us in our marriage. SO today I have come to realize I need to re-focus my life and I am. I am thankful today for a God that is so forgiving and loves us so much.

I am doing Day 19 a day late. I spent the day on the ballfield yesterday and my back was killing me. I didn’t even pick up my journal until this morning on the way to the field again. I read the Dare and have thought a lot about it today.  I thought about the Dare’s I have done. None were extremely hard, maybe uncomfortable. I have to say Day 18 is still a to do Dare only because of the children. I will get it done soon, hoefully Tuesday.

I have thought a lot today about God and how I have lived over the years.  I was saved when I was 7. I can remember how I felt walking down the isle to the pastor. Since that day I can say I haven’t lived like a Christian. I think two years ago when my husband and I were placed in a bad situation I turned again to God. I slip still every now and then. I always end up in church and asking God to help me. I do depend on God a lot. He has led me this last time to see Fireproof and to complete The Love Dare. My life has turned around in 3 weeks. I am closer to God and also to my family. I might not live everyday as my husband wants me to but I do live in a way I think would be pleasing to God.

Life is hard! Marriage is hard! Raising my children is hard! Doing it with God’s help is easier! All things are possible with God!