Comments for The Official Love Dare Journal http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare Share Tips to Fireproof your Marriage Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:27:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 Comment on Day 1: Love is patient by riponred http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-1/day-1-love-is-patient/#comment-1062 riponred Fri, 06 Nov 2009 05:29:22 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=9#comment-1062 I started this back in May. I went through a few days, then ground to a halt when it came time to actually do something that involved talking to my wife. Now it's November, we're worse off than before, and I'm thinking it may be time to go at it again. Right now, it seems like she is planning on divorce before the end of the year. Her heart is very hard toward me and I don't think she's interested in letting anything thaw it out. I can't believe we've gotten to this point. Back in May, Day 1 was easy. I am a conflict-avoider and so is she. Now that it's November, we're just spouse-avoiders. We don't talk more than is necessary to coordinate our schedules. If we try to make decisions together or resolve a long-standing dispute, we very quickly move to anger. To shy away from saying anything angry sounds like it will be easy: just stay clear of each other. But I don't think that's going to help. Or, I could just back down in my convictions: but that's part of the reason that we are where we are. What a tangled and confusing mess this is! I started this back in May. I went through a few days, then ground to a halt when it came time to actually do something that involved talking to my wife. Now it’s November, we’re worse off than before, and I’m thinking it may be time to go at it again. Right now, it seems like she is planning on divorce before the end of the year. Her heart is very hard toward me and I don’t think she’s interested in letting anything thaw it out. I can’t believe we’ve gotten to this point.

Back in May, Day 1 was easy. I am a conflict-avoider and so is she. Now that it’s November, we’re just spouse-avoiders. We don’t talk more than is necessary to coordinate our schedules. If we try to make decisions together or resolve a long-standing dispute, we very quickly move to anger. To shy away from saying anything angry sounds like it will be easy: just stay clear of each other. But I don’t think that’s going to help. Or, I could just back down in my convictions: but that’s part of the reason that we are where we are. What a tangled and confusing mess this is!

]]> Comment on Day 15: Love is honorable by mrsrainey31 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-3/day-15-love-is-honorable/#comment-1056 mrsrainey31 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:03:47 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=49#comment-1056 Well today we went out to Jefferson to see my Grandma, whom I haven't seen in two years. My daughter is 9 months old and has never met her, that is my fault for always being too busy to enjoy family life and to include ALL of my family in it. Since I've been doing this dare not only have I learned the importance of my relationship, but also the importance of my family life as well. Anyway, my Grandma took us out to dinner at Johnny's Pizza, as Jason was walking up to the door with our daughter in his hands, I opened the door for him... I know it wasn't a huge way to show him I honor him, but it was something he normally does for me, and I never think to return the favor. Needless to say, he realized I did this, so I suppose that shows for something. :) Well today we went out to Jefferson to see my Grandma, whom I haven’t seen in two years. My daughter is 9 months old and has never met her, that is my fault for always being too busy to enjoy family life and to include ALL of my family in it. Since I’ve been doing this dare not only have I learned the importance of my relationship, but also the importance of my family life as well. Anyway, my Grandma took us out to dinner at Johnny’s Pizza, as Jason was walking up to the door with our daughter in his hands, I opened the door for him… I know it wasn’t a huge way to show him I honor him, but it was something he normally does for me, and I never think to return the favor. Needless to say, he realized I did this, so I suppose that shows for something. :)

]]> Comment on Day 14: Love takes delight by mrsrainey31 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-2/day-14-love-takes-delight/#comment-1055 mrsrainey31 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:57:55 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=47#comment-1055 Jason was gone for a big part of the day today, so I sent him a text asking if there were anything imparticular he would like to do together, and he just told me "have some quality time together, we haven't seemed to have had that in a while" which I thought was strange that he said that, when he dare was to just spend time together. After he got home we spend a little time away from one another, which I know was the opposite of what we wanted to do, but something made him upset and he stepped out for a little while. When we returned, I told him I was sorry for whatever it was I did (which I understand now) and we spend the remainder of the day together, just being together and with our daughter. Jason was gone for a big part of the day today, so I sent him a text asking if there were anything imparticular he would like to do together, and he just told me “have some quality time together, we haven’t seemed to have had that in a while” which I thought was strange that he said that, when he dare was to just spend time together. After he got home we spend a little time away from one another, which I know was the opposite of what we wanted to do, but something made him upset and he stepped out for a little while. When we returned, I told him I was sorry for whatever it was I did (which I understand now) and we spend the remainder of the day together, just being together and with our daughter.

]]> Comment on Day 13: Love fights fair by mrsrainey31 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-2/day-13-love-fights-fair/#comment-1054 mrsrainey31 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:32:39 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=45#comment-1054 There were a good list of 'rules of engagement' to go by in the book, I found those to be perfect in our relationship, since those are typically all of our problems. I read the list out loud to him, he listened.. and when I asked if he thought he could help to keep these in mind next time when needed, he said I'll try my hardest. That really helped, and since then I can tell we have had a lot less arguments since we are both keeping this in mind. There were a good list of ‘rules of engagement’ to go by in the book, I found those to be perfect in our relationship, since those are typically all of our problems. I read the list out loud to him, he listened.. and when I asked if he thought he could help to keep these in mind next time when needed, he said I’ll try my hardest. That really helped, and since then I can tell we have had a lot less arguments since we are both keeping this in mind.

]]> Comment on Day 12: Love lets the other win by mrsrainey31 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-2/day-12-love-lets-the-other-win/#comment-1053 mrsrainey31 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:25:50 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=43#comment-1053 Sometimes I allow my feelings to get hurt more than others, and he had said something to me on this morning that ticked me off, instead of allowing myself to take a breath and just let it go... I felt the need to defend myself, that's typically how we always fight. I have to make a justifiable reason for every little thing he doesn't like. I feel I let myself fall short of this dare today... and will plug it into tomorrow along with Day 13. Sometimes I allow my feelings to get hurt more than others, and he had said something to me on this morning that ticked me off, instead of allowing myself to take a breath and just let it go… I felt the need to defend myself, that’s typically how we always fight. I have to make a justifiable reason for every little thing he doesn’t like. I feel I let myself fall short of this dare today… and will plug it into tomorrow along with Day 13.

]]> Comment on Day 5: Love is not rude by An Unfinished Man » Blog Archive » Day 5 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-1/day-5-love-is-not-rude/#comment-1051 An Unfinished Man » Blog Archive » Day 5 Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:26:00 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=22#comment-1051 [...] Day 5: Love is not rude [...] [...] Day 5: Love is not rude [...]

]]> Comment on Day 28: Love makes sacrifices by alwaysfaithful98 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-4/day-28-love-makes-sacrifices/#comment-1050 alwaysfaithful98 Tue, 20 Oct 2009 06:54:24 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=75#comment-1050 i'm still stuck on day 28. it has been hard to try to move to day 29. my husband now thinks i don't trust him because i questioned some of his behavior; how can a marriage build trust when one partner doesn't want to be questioned and open about questions the other has. so, therefore i'm stuck here till i can figure out what to do. i've been reading a lot of articles on restoring trust in a marriage and i love what they counsel to do, but my husband wouldn't let me be w/ my questions and what not. help me someone. i’m still stuck on day 28. it has been hard to try to move to day 29. my husband now thinks i don’t trust him because i questioned some of his behavior; how can a marriage build trust when one partner doesn’t want to be questioned and open about questions the other has. so, therefore i’m stuck here till i can figure out what to do. i’ve been reading a lot of articles on restoring trust in a marriage and i love what they counsel to do, but my husband wouldn’t let me be w/ my questions and what not. help me someone.

]]> Comment on Day 22: Love is faithful by daretoday http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-4/day-22-love-is-faithful/#comment-1048 daretoday Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:11:44 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=63#comment-1048 Today was a difficult day for me. I have been telling my wife I love her every day. Unfortunately it has been from a distance. She has been in another state for the last few months. Some days she will say she loves me in response but, most days she does not. Specifically she will not respond positively if her mother is in the room. We have been married 16 years most of that time we were very devoted to our church and even led teen ministries. Last August I lost my job and subsequently we lost our home. There was nowhere to go but to move in with family. I was angry about our position and blamed her for much of it. It developed a lot of hurt in our relationship. I held back on giving love trying to devote my energy to finding work another mistake. She ended up giving me a deadline to make some changes. I missed the mark by about a month and have been working so hard on rebuilding our marriage. She is no longer willing to work on things and says she is not sure if she ever will be willing. Taking our three kids with her and not responding to my olive branches has been very painful. I am embracing this love dare series with the attitude of apply it to myself only. It has been difficult to do from a distance. I have come to realize that I do love my wife period. I feel a lot of the love we had in the beginning. Throughout our marriage I have always been faithful that we would some day get to a level that both of us wanted. I still am but after months I am growing a little weary. Today was a difficult day for me. I have been telling my wife I love her every day. Unfortunately it has been from a distance. She has been in another state for the last few months. Some days she will say she loves me in response but, most days she does not. Specifically she will not respond positively if her mother is in the room. We have been married 16 years most of that time we were very devoted to our church and even led teen ministries. Last August I lost my job and subsequently we lost our home. There was nowhere to go but to move in with family. I was angry about our position and blamed her for much of it. It developed a lot of hurt in our relationship. I held back on giving love trying to devote my energy to finding work another mistake. She ended up giving me a deadline to make some changes. I missed the mark by about a month and have been working so hard on rebuilding our marriage. She is no longer willing to work on things and says she is not sure if she ever will be willing. Taking our three kids with her and not responding to my olive branches has been very painful. I am embracing this love dare series with the attitude of apply it to myself only. It has been difficult to do from a distance. I have come to realize that I do love my wife period. I feel a lot of the love we had in the beginning. Throughout our marriage I have always been faithful that we would some day get to a level that both of us wanted. I still am but after months I am growing a little weary.

]]> Comment on Day 4: Love is thoughtful by An Unfinished Man » Blog Archive » Day 4 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-1/day-4-love-is-thoughtful/#comment-1047 An Unfinished Man » Blog Archive » Day 4 Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:33:46 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=20#comment-1047 [...] Day 4: Love is thoughtful [...] [...] Day 4: Love is thoughtful [...]

]]> Comment on Day 3: Love is not selfish by An Unfinished Man » Blog Archive » Day 3 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/week-1/day-3-love-is-not-selfish/#comment-1046 An Unfinished Man » Blog Archive » Day 3 Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:22:01 +0000 http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/?p=17#comment-1046 [...] Day 3: Love is not selfish [...] [...] Day 3: Love is not selfish [...]

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