Facing my demons

I did not do a meal at home  as per the LD - it is difficult with the kids and i really wanted to have my wife all to myself.  

It was our “anniversary” on 8th october. This was again a very very diifficult time for my wife. I was almost petrified of the Day, because of all the issues from the past. We did both confide in each other that we were both very apprehensive of the day, and basically agreed not to make too big a deal of the day in view of the circumstances. This mae me very very sad. Again, it’s all because of my teriible wroning of her. I am struggling…… We are now married 21 years. So i racked my brians about what I could get her. In the ned I saw an ad for a new health spa  not far from our place, so got her quite a sizable gift voucher on my credit card. With my business struggling, and customers not paying on time, this money hurt me. But I bought a larger amount than I could afford in order to feel like I was doing some penitance, in some weird manner. But I also bought the voucher out of real and honest pure love. i also felt good doing it. I gave it to her and she seemed very pleased. I bought her a nice card and wrote things in there that i felt from me heart. I could not get all the right wonderful poetic words I needed, so just wrote straight from my heart. We did not do much on the day, but i said I’d take her to a nice dinner on the weekend. So i organized a vibey Greek place we had never been to before. We had a lovely evening together, and made love afterwards. This was so spiritual and precious to me. We had a fanttastic evening in every way. A day or 2 later she asked me if i wanted a ring or a watch as n anniversary gift. I jumped at the ring, and could not believe she was offering me this. It felyt wonderful. She bought it and put it on my finger. It is so very precious to me now. It is a reminder of love. I hope this love does not end, like the circle of the ring.

Our evening was spent in meaningful (and less menaingful) talk and I hope I convinced her how serious my love is and how serious and important she is to me.. We spent hours talking and got home quite late. Wonderful!!

Oh GOD: You have brought us to this point …. Please do not put us asunder, unless it is Your will. I vow to look after my wife all the days i am spared on earth. I love her and want her to be healed, so that we can gorw and remain together as you intended in the first place.

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