Worth Saving

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

Knowing that my husband has a low self-worth and is angry and very unhappy in his job, i chose to show him honor and respect with an uplifting email in the busyness of our day. I first, after the Lord opened my eyes to something i had done that was selfish, genuinely apologized for putting myself first. i had not even seen this AT ALL until i opened my heart. I think this is what it must be like for him most of the time… his heart is so closed that he doesn’t even realize how he treats me and the children behind closed doors. This not only helped me to realize where i needed to ask for forgiveness, but it also has blessed me with compassion. something i think i run short of on most days.

I then wrote to him “…i was thinking about your drumming with the worship team. It makes me so super proud that you are doing that. what a blessing that the Lord has given you an opportunity to use one of your many gifts to honor him and impact the worship time for so many others. And i bet you inspire a handful of young people that you don’t even realize!!”

His response to the apology was thoughtful and it was well-received. The drumming ministry complement?… not so much. Very negative and doom-gloom about being “the old guy” and not inspiring anyone. This makes me sad because he is unable to celebrate God’s blessings on him. I try to intercede through prayer, and find myself apologizing to the Lord for his behavior. I wonder, is this an honorable thing to do? Or is it being manipulative and protective? …not like the Lord doesn’t know what’s going on anyway!  ; )

I have come to a place of resolve. I know that continual negative or non-responses to my efforts to love him unconditionally is NOT a failure to carry out a dare or a failure of being a loving wife. And i will continue to strive to live a joy-filled life despite it so that i may honor my Heavenly Father as well as trying to bless my husband and others. This is my mission field. May the Lord keep me strong.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 at 12:02 pm and is filed under Uncategorized and. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.