In The Fight Of My Life

Well here I sit typing in this last of this time around.  Wow I am so amazed at what God has done with me in forty days.  To think it seems so long yet it is the same amount of time that Jesus went out and fasted and prayed for in the new testament.  Rest assured Satan is waiting for me to step out so that he can offer me all his wonderful gifts if I will turn my back on God.  I will be keeping God out in front, he does so much better at fighting off those temptations.  I will be starting all over next week, there are so many things that I need to better understand.  There are so many dares that although complete I still struggle with all the time.

I wrote up a set of vows.  The material in the book really hit home on something that I learned a while ago.  In the bible God doesn’t use the words I do. God tells us what he will do.  I have incorporated that in a draft of my vows that I fully intend to tell my wife when we remarry.

For all those whom have kept a eye on this blog there is another story that needs to be told because it involves Vows.  So buckle up another adventure in the life of Tonie and Glen is spun.

Nineteen years ago I married the love of my life.  That was the first failure so to speak.  Now before everyone gets all excited and sees that as a negative it is not.  It was a matter of Gods doing and not ours.  The love of my life and I ended up having a shotgun wedding.  No there was no baby on board or anything like that.  But if you think back nineteen years ago there was something going on that could effect a family, or wedding plans.

Both my dad and I were enlisted in the service of our country back then.  The love of my life and myself had completely planned our wedding.  We had sent out the invitations, secured the place of marriage planned the wedding dance every thing was in plan and was in the works.  We were to be married on the 20th of October 1990.  This is were things out of our control come in.  My dad whom is a pastor was to conduct our marriage received a phone call the week before September 30th telling him that he was going to be activated to serve in desert Shield, and storm. He had until the following Monday to secure his personal affairs and report for duty.  Well that changed everything.  The fact That I was called and put on alert to be deployed did not help things either.  Well some things needed to be changed if the pastor was going to be there and if  my dad was going to be there.  So we did the only thing we figured was the right thing to do.  We redid our wedding in four days.  We drew up the plan and got to work. instead of the chapel we had a house. instead of lots of pictures we have a few. instead of lots of family we have a total of maybe 12.  Instead of a long weekend we were married on a Sunday and I had to be back in the field for harvest Monday morning.  It was so funny we had to buy plain layer cake for our wedding and get plastic groom and bride for on the top of it.  I remember when we brought the groom and bride for the top of our wedding cake the bride was this white plastic and my bride was adamant that would not work because she is a beautiful tan.  My dad came up with the fix a little tan shoe polish rubbed just right on the face and a little black marker on the hair and bang you got the idea.  Well at any rate we made it work and we were married.

The love of my life has always wanted another wedding when things were not so crazy around us.  We talked and started to plan to get married on our tenth.  We decided that we would rather have our own place to live so instead of remarrying the love of my life we traded in rent payments for a house payment and ownership of our own place.

Now keep in mind I am a guy and I often think way more like a guy then a guy should.  Next year is our 20th anniversary and talk has already surfaced.  Funny how thought has surfaced regarding some land for summer weekends, hunting land.  I am willing to compromise at this point in the negotiations.  Not that I really ever have plans of shutting her out I love her to much.  I use it as a form of joking.  I could defiantly go for buying some nice hunting land and breaking it in with a marriage ceremony of our vows and then just her and I staying out there for our honeymoon.  Well all that would fall under my dreams not hers.  I am trying to assist her with hers right now.  Besides if in we fulfill her greatest dream now I will not be looking for land but for cribs and baby stuff and she will not be looking for a wedding dress for next year, but for maternity clothes.

Well it I can say has been strange sharing with all who venture here the trials and gifts that have happened over the past 40 days.  I have often gleamed through many of the blogs looking for words  of encouragement as well as scripture in which to help me along.  For this I thank all you who have taken the dare.  To all those who have provided advise and personal prayer thank you. I have felt the hand of God many times through out these dares and I know it is because others have prayed me there.  I thank God for you interceding on Tonie and my behalf.

Well as for my plans.  I have already told you that I plan to restart the love dare on Monday the 23rd of November 2009. I will be putting together a new Blog Not sure what it will be called as of yet.  I will be praying about that.  Tonie and I will be still doing our love languages.  Rather then that we will be concentrating on making sure that God is out in from and trying to follow him wherever he takes us.

This is it right here folks.  I leave this with No reason to win the day, Just more reasons to pray, listen, play and walk humbly with my God.

Here is my vows I wrote to the Love of my Life.  My Loves real name is in it and I will never take it out.  couldn’t do it I changed the name.

Please be respectful If you should know her I need to know that what was said here will never be heard about from people either on the inside or outside of these blogs.

here it is.

The Grooms vows

Written By Mr. Glen Baranski

To be swore by Glen to Tonie Baranski

Mr. Glen A. Baranski

To

Mrs. Tonie A. Baranski

I Glen Baranski take you Tonie Baranski to be my wife. Not only in the eyes of the law but more so in the eyes of the almighty God whom should direct our paths.

From this day forward I enter into a covenant with the sincere desire to hold to it as God has held to all his to mankind. I Glen A. Baranski herby decree as my covenant between God and Tonie and Glen that from this Day forward until that God takes me from his earth I will love, protect, honor, cherish, respect, encourage, as well as never stop praying for Tonie Baranski.

As God has made me human I may from time to time struggle to keep my covenant, but I am confident that with the love of our God I will always prevail. I know this because loving you Tonie is not hard for me. Loving you is what my heart sincerely wants to do. As I learn to lead my heart instead of follow it I will continue to ask God to show me new ways of keeping the fire blazing in our romance thru new opportunities to show my love in tangibles unexpected ways.

May it be known worldwide that from the time this covenant is sealed with a prayer of commitment and a kiss between Glen and Tonie Baranski that Glen will fight to keep his commitment with all that I have and any resources that God provides as a tool or tools to protect it with.

That all Folks I will be praying for all those to dare to take the dare.  Hope you all find me under a new blog.

Keep praying for Tonie and Glen

November 18, 2009

Dear Tonie Antonia Baranski

Tonie this letter is one that I hope that you will keep and cherish for long after I am no longer on this earth.  I hope that by the end of this letter that you know how I really feel about you and how I intend to spend the rest of my days on this earth.

The proof of my undying love for you will only be proved through the years that I spend endlessly showing it through acts of love.  As God has loved us through action I too must show mine the same way.  I have been trying to do that throughout my love dares.  I do realize that I must lean on God the rest of my life in order to accomplish earthly love the way God desires for us to demonstrate it.

Thru the study of how God loves us, I have learned that I never even came close to loving you in a Godly way for the last 19 years.  God has shown me that Love is patient, and never ending.  God has also demonstrated that love is able to endure all things. 

It is my heart’s desire to demonstrate to you for the rest of my life that I truly love you.  The manner in which I do this will be through my never ending commitment to show Gods love to you through me. 

There are so many things about you that I love.  And a few of these things have become bullets in this letter.

·         Your unvarnished beauty.  You are the most beautiful lady that I have ever laid my eyes on.

·         Your positive attitude. You have shown that through the years you will look at every event with the desire to find a positive. Even if it is only a lesson.

·         Your competitiveness.  You never quite so long as you have energy you continue.  When you run out of energy you just take a break and refocus.  This has saved our relationship so many times.

·         Your smile.  You desire to enjoy life to its fullest and it shows in your smile.  Even when the chips are down you truly want to smile for

no other reason than that is the way you are and you feel best when wearing a smile.

·         Your unending forgiveness.  You forgive people even when you know that they are not really sorry. 

·         Your athletic abilities.  You have born talent which you continue to develop by refusing to accept age as a excuse for failure.

·         Your social abilities.  You are not afraid to meet new people from different walks of life.  You do not judge people by what their history has made them.

·         All of things in this list are but a few of the things that I love about you.  The reasons do not belong in bullets. 

·          

Tonie I love you because you know how to bring out the man in me.  You have the ability to bring out courage in me that I never thought that I could have let alone demonstrate. I love you because you can be so mad at me and still really care how I feel.  I love you because you brighten my day and make it worth living just by being there.  I love the way you look at me and the way you put your hand out for me to take. I love the way you make me feel when you lean your head against me in the car, or rest your head against me in bed.

All the reasons I have just listed are but a fraction of the reasons that I am recommitting my life to living a life that demonstrates how much I love you.  I am committing to making sure that you and I can deal with the life issues that come up.  I am going to try each and every day to confront any and all potential barriers that should arise or hint to arise.  I also commit to keeping God as a focal point in my life and in that also try as hard as I can to be the spiritual leader that God and you expect.

I could go on with another list of bullets explaining all the things that I could say that I would do or not do, but that would just set me up more for failure then success.

As I end this letter to you I want you to know that before I could fully commit to our marriage I had to give it to God first.  This I have done and I will pray each day that God directs me and us in how to make our marriage a relationship that he is proud of.  Tonie thank you for all you have given me over the years and just please know that until I draw my last breath you will always be the one that I long to be with.

With Love,

Glen

For all those who have dared to take the Dare my prayers are with you.  Please pray for ATonie and Glen as we careon the will of God.

Bruno

Well I know what the love of my life dreams are to some point.  So when I went to her and asked her which one she wanted to tackle first I was not surprised by her answer.  Both of her dreams start with a letter B.  Neither of her dreams work very well together.  Wanting to truly assist in the fulfillment of her dreams in this case required her to make a decision.  For the last year and a half the love of my life has been telling me that she wants to have a bike.  Not a mountain bike either.  We have looked and have inquired into the motorcycle courses and what size of bike she would best be able to handle.   As recently as this past summer she told me that she did not care what I thought she was getting a bike next summer.   This dream I though would have taken first place since she has been so adamant about it.  Who would have thought that the love of my life would have changed her priorities and decided on the more expensive but also more rewarding dream.  This dream will cost for ever.

The dream my love most wants me to help her with is a baby.  So we are talking and we are asking questions.  there are a lot of things that have to be looked at.  There have been things on my side that need to be undone, or should I say redone up?  Not sure how that goes.  There are issues regarding the love of my life and residual issues from the baby we lost.  Non of the least is that any surgery I would need will not be covered by our insurance.  So in the end either it will be a bike for the love of my life or a surgery for me.  I will have the surgery if in fact she wants to go through with it.  I am not apposed to another child.  I do wish I could choose the gender.

Well that is where that Love dare stands.  A ton of prayer and 1 operation and the touch of God.  The other stands on a kickstand in some show room somewhere still waiting for the love of my life to sit up on it and give the flick of the wrist to throttle it to life.

No reason to win the day, Just more reasons to pray listen, ponder, and possible wince, and buy lots of ice.

For all those out there who have taken the dare I am still praying for you.  Please continue to pray for Tonie and Glen as we pray about these dreams.

Two more dares and I get to start all over.  Wow how my world has changed.

Bruno

This Love dare took me a few days to accomplish.  Not because prayer is a issue I love to pray with the love of my life.  The issue that I was working over was finding the right time matched with the right words to bring the subject of setting time aside each and every day.  Our schedule ends up getting so busy that many times we are not sure if we are coming or going.

Between meetings and scheduled events we often are going separate directions or when we are together we get home so late that both of us are completely wiped out.  Sunday night while I was waiting up for a friends high school daughter to come over for some help in a college class she is taking Tonie and I had time to talk.  We had a wonderful chat.  We read our devotional as well as went over my love dare.  We decided together that we try very hard to get time to read every day together we just needed to try to not only set a time that we could shoot for as well as incorporate prayer time that we could share .  Tonie and agreed that in the evening would be best.  We are going to try to establish a more defined bed time and that we can close out our evening with devotional and our love language book and prayer.

Tonie and I also talked about somethings things regarding feelings and how we have made each other feel.  We in the end were so much closer to each other for sharing.  I like to think that those little meeting of the heart are a good way to shovel out any new gravel that is starting to build up between us.  After all the work that we have done to repair our relationship there is no reason to start developing a gravel base in which to build a new barrier between us.  I believe there are a few rocks between us but with our renewed desire to respect each other and earn each others trust we can break them up and slowly but continuously remove them until the ground between us is clear of all boulders, rocks, and stones.

Well that is all I have for today once again no reason to win the day, just more reasons to pray together, listen to each other, play together, Love together.

For all those who dare to take the dare I am praying for you.  Please keep Tonie and Glen in your prayers.  Hopefully by the end of this week Lord willing I will be starting all over.  Looking forward to day one again.

Bruno

This dare is truly right on.  The house founded on the sand on earthly wisdom is left to the deception of the soft looking clouds on the horizon.  Since before I started The love dare I have been praying and searching the scripture for Gods answers to the love of my life and my issues.  Gods word has held the answers every time.

The love of my life and I have been doing a couples devotional together for a few weeks now.  We are also working our way through another book at the same time.  The book we are reading together goes hand in hand with the Love dare.  The name of the book is The Love Languages.  We read through a chapter of the love languages then top if off with our devotional.  the devotional has scripture for us to look up.  Some times there is a little nugget that we can talk about and that sometimes leads to more searching through the scripture. I look forward to that time of the evening each day when Tonie and I get to spend time together studying what our maker has for us.  Sometimes it is really hard because God smacks me right in the face so to speak.  I have had many a evening of conviction regarding some part of my life, or a issue within my relationship with God as well as the love of my life.

The hard part of this dare is to ensure that we keep God out in front and not along side or behind us.  The first struggle is to make sure that we e get that time every day.  I and Tonie need to work on when we think that we are going to have plans for the evening that will put us away from our home that we make sure that we have our devotional in the morning instead.

Once again there is no winning the day, just more reasons to pray, listen and commit to making sure we give ourselves time for God to teach us.

For all those taking the Dare I am still praying for you.  Please keep Tonie and Glen in your prayers.

Bruno

Love is accountable.  This dare is one that I have embraced a long time ago when it comes to the council.  At least a long time ago in respect to the Love Dare.  From the time I started this journey I knew that there were things that I would need some outside help with.  I had encouraged the love of my life to go with me.  I understand that this is something that Tonie is not comfortable with.  I to be honest was scared the first time I went.  I can say the fear was on the same level as the day I was arrested.  Even though I knew that I was going to walk out of there and step back into the world of my love I was scared that when I left I would be faced that as a husband and a father I would have the burden of being told I was a failure.  I had this sinking feeling that the marriage counselor would tell me that I should just be glad that the love of my life had not kicked me to the curb.  The first meeting was difficult and after I walked out I had a new outlook on where things were going and where they had come from.  the council I receive is good for me it is based on Gods word.  I walk out looking at things in our relationship from a different angle.

I have been seeking for another married couple that Tonie and I can become friends with that are well grounded in the scripture. The friends I am looking for need to bring a outside Tonie and Glens box preceptive.  In that it rules out couples in my family as well as hers.  I have my eye on one such couple and have been trying to nurture a relationship there.  I think that over time Tonie and I will be able to be comfortable talking to them as friends and share with them on a deeper relational level.

Tonie and I read through another chapter of the love languages last night as well as we read our couples devotional.  Tonie and I had a talk last night about the past weekend.  Tonie told me that Sunday evening and Monday it felt like the old Glen was back.  I dug into this because I wanted to know where she was coming from.  Tonie told me she felt like I gave up and that she thought that I had quit.  I had talked with R about this because I recognized it on Sunday as well as Monday. I knew why I had seemed so distance regarding feelings.  Early Sunday morning when Tonie’s brother and I were talking and I apologized for my actions from years past I seen a look of disappointment in the love of my life’s eyes.  That crushed me not because I was trying to please her, but something that God had brought to my attention as something I needed to take care of could disappoint her so much.  Sunday when I woke up I felt as though by following Gods word and trying to insure that I was doing what God wanted I had drove a wedge between Tonie and myself.  At any rate I know that I quit pulling on Sunday and all day Monday I just read my dares and made sure I was doing what God wanted.  I suppose that in full discloser I was trying to do what God wanted but no more.  I just did not want to pull.  I let myself get caught up in my own hurt.

Last night as Tonie and I talked I could not help but think about that hurt and I prayed that God would take it away.  I love Tonie so much,  I know that God is willing and I just need to give it all to him.  When I do those few times that Satan allows the thoughts to come to me will be fewer and fewer.  If I could post a picture of the love of my life there would be few men out there that would be able to say that she is hard on the eyes.  Oh I know I am gloating in the fact that according to me I married to the hottest lady God put on this earth, SO WHAT.  So where did that come statement come from?  The statement comes from a guy who sometimes looks at his wife in a off moment and sees her in her total beauty and realizes that even something that I find so beautiful and strong can also be very fragile and that it doesn’t take abuse or threats to drive away love.  Al it takes is a pile of issues between each other that never gets dealt with.

During Tonie and my talk last night we talked about my pulling and how that when I stopped on Sunday there was definitely a change.  Tonie indicated it me in not such straight talk that as soon as you take your eye off being where you are comfortable you become miserable to be around.  I agree with her 100% .  I did not tell Tonie this.  One of the things I wanted to know was if I quit pulling so to speak will she encourage me to lean in again or will she just except it.  I know that Tonie recognized that I quit thrusting forward and was more willing to let let the wagon thump along with each stride instead of digging in with power to keep it smooth.  I guess I was not so much looking for Tonie to lean in and take up the slack I had left as much as I was looking for the encouragement to lean in again.  Was it selfish?  I would have to say sure it was.I  was looking for the you can do this you can pull us up this hill. I was expecting the whip though.  I received neither on Sunday or Monday.  What I did get was, what is wrong?  What did I do this time? Last night Tonie and I encouraged each other regarding our relationship and that was a great feeling to have.  To know that she wants this as bad as I do even if her issues are a different kind of load to carry.  I am sure that there will be times when she will feel like the load is overbearing on her.  I am praying regarding the love dare on Love encourages that God will continue to help me be a positive encouragement. I am also praying that the lord will show me how to be graceful in the best way encourage Tonie with out using a whip so to speak.  I know that these areas will need allot of prayer because both Tonie and I are very competitive and for most of our marriage both have treated encouragement as a sign of weakness or failure.

Well that is all I have for today and as the rest have ended no reason to win the day, just more reasons to pray, listen, encourage, pull with enthusiasm, and play.

To all those who have taken the Dare, I am praying for you.  Please keep Tonie and Glen in your prayers as we try to hold each other up in these tough times.

Bruno

This dare had me some what stumped in that I was looking at it from a selfish perspective. After I read this I started thinking about how bad I wanted the love of my life to  to desire the relationship with God that I was trying to have.  God deals with all his children in his own way.  The love of my life is seeking Gods will in her life, she is just experiencing different answers then I expected that God would give her.  Yesterday afternoon while we were eating some light supper I asked Tonie if we should read our devotional while we had the time together.  She said that would be fine.  I then asked about rather or not we were planning to keep up with our reading of the Love Languages we started.  Tonie not only said yes she offered to read the next chapter to me.  After she read it I told her about my dare and told her that I was very pleased that she has taken interest in reading about things that deal with God in our lives. I told told Tonie that it was not just because it was my dare.  If you have been reading my blog you remember how excited I got when Tonie came back to bed to read the couples devotional to me.  I really love when the love of my life not only seeks out what God wants to do with her but when she demonstrates that she wants a better understanding of how God tells us to treat each other.

I went to my counselling meeting last night and it was really good. R and I covered some really heavy things,  R got in a little drawing and the explanations were really good to hear.  These are things that I have already known and have been working on.   The reinforcement that I am doing it correctly and the encouragement not to stop was really good.  R gave me some insight regarding my desires for both my Love and me and the pulling the wagon together.  It took me a little thinking but I feel that I understand what I need to do.  I will be working on that challenge as well as my dares.

I find that I am now anxious to finish the Love dares. Not because I will be done.  I intend to start over.  I will be printing off all of my journals and putting them in a book.  I then plan to start the journey all over.  I wonder what I will think when I read the first 40 day journal when I have completed all 40 the second time around.  I hope that I will not recognize that man.  I pray that God will continue to work in me so neither the love of my life or I want to even compare the then and now.

Well that is about it for me for today.  Once again no winning the day, just more reasons to listen, pray, celebrate, and play.  For all those whom have taken the dare I will be praying for you. Please continue to pray for Tonie and Glen.

bruno

Not a dare that you can say I have completed.  This is one of those dares that will continue on until one of us passes on.  I did however after reading this dare do some searching in my life regarding decisions that we make and spent some time analyzing how we make decisions.

As it happens Tonie and I are in the middle of making a decision regarding phones.  Since I payed for a separate plan for the phone for Tonie I added another bill.  Tonie and I talked about it and she had very good points, I did not see eye to eye with her on all them.  Some of my issues were deep seated in my own insecurity about her and I.  in the end I think that Tonie and I do work most things out by listening to each other.  Even when our options don’t meet we tend to compromise on most things, taking the best ideas from each other and dropping the ones that are not feasible to the situation.

This dare I found has difficulties when communications are broke, or when the parties have quit listening to each other.  Since I have been trying to be a better listener the completeness of us two has been noticalble better.

Well that is all I have on this dare.  I will march on while keeping my eye on this one and the the dare on unity.  Seems like these two also go hand in hand.

As all the rest have ended no reason to win the day, just another reason to pray, listen, and communicate, as well as play.

To all those who dare to take the dare I will be praying for you.  Please keep Tonie and Glen in your prayers.  I go to my second session of marriage counseling this evening please pray that I am able to make another breakthrough in the discovery of how I can mend the fences that I have so miserably  destroyed.

Bruno

This dare may take a few days.  I am going to read up on what the scripture has to say.  Tonie and I have been compromising on some things mostly small things and I guess that is where things need to start.  First we have to listen to each other.  That has been something that in the past I have greatly struggled with.  Well to say the least this dare is going to test my listening abilities.

Today has been one of those rough days when communication has been at best more compared to two different warring factions exchanging fire.  The remainder of the time it appears that each side in their own way is planning strategy for the next volley.  This way of living is very exhausting.  I find the only peace I have is when I am neck deep in working on my issues.  As soon as I concentrate on Tonie and me every thing seems to fall apart.  I know that I am rambling here but in all this type is a guy searching for the answers.  Today I have spent few hours of the day looking and searching.  I have read through my love dare blog and looked at the progress.  For all the Good that God has changed in me I feel like this whole thing can be compared to learning how to take car of a weapon in boot camp.  I am learning how my life is put together.  I have learned how I took it apart as well I am learning how to put it back together and how it is suppose to work.  I have the instructions on how to make it operate smooth as a well cared for firearm. The only problem is today I feel like all this training is so that when I finish God will be able to use what is left of me after the Russian roulette course is finished.  For those who have read through my blog, the places where I have pulled the trigger are very obvious.  I can’t help but wonder how close am I to the bullet.  Is all this going to end in my demise.  Will God give me the strength to pick up whatever is left of me and teach me how to love again after I fail.

Well I need to go and spend some time in prayer and reread this dare and figure out how I get out of this hole and get back to marching the way God knows I can.

I think that some of this personal issue is dealing with what is left of me after this weekend and everything that went down.  I guess in some ways I feel like Tonie has no other mission with me.  The only huge issue that needs to addressed in her eyes involves people that she can walk away from.  That being said she is now free of the major issues that have effected her relationships.  Well some would say I need a life jacket so that I do not drown in my own self pity.  It is not like that,  it is like I need to reestablish where I stand in this family and how I move forward.  I have tried to Give honor to God in the conversations I had this weekend even to the point of offering up any respect the love of my life would could have had.

Please pray for Glen regarding the issues that remain untold and unfinished by God.  I will be back with a update not sure how long it will be but in the meanwhile know that I am praying and looking to God for the answers to my problems.

May God bless all those who Dare to take Gods Dare.

Bruno

Well I need not say any more then the title says.

Today is a new day and difficulties seem to more abundant then scarce.  I really do not know where to start.  I think that Tonie has been upset about something but feels she would rather stew about it then talk.  I will give her some space and see where things go. Tonie came home from work for lunch so I went home to talk to her about a something we needed to discuss.  I framed everything wrong and she took my curiosity as non trust and started in on the whole I forgot to tell you every detail of my life.  Not what I was looking for I was just nearly caught off guard with her home at that time.   Tonie was visibly upset and her tone changed from a tone of love to a tone of lets get this over with so I can get on with my life.  I decided that I would go back to work before a weird situation went bad.   I asked for her to come and give me a kiss because I already had my boots on and that was also a mistake.  I got the hostile Tonie with the not to be confused with any form of love WHATEVER.  When that came out I just turned and walked out the door and left for work.  Figuring that to stay I was about to run into difficulties with dare # 1.

So here I sit I have no clue as to what I did or what I didn’t do.  Not sure why Tonie is so upset.  Not sure if I should even care.  Not sure it would matter if I did care.  You know where I am coming from?  That strange place where you get to choose how you die,  but in the end you are still dead.   That is where I feel I am right now.  Trying to figure out how to die,  those are just medifores for those who get all excited about living and death and decisions in the same context.   I figure the government will soon have a outlined plan we can all follow so why rush things.   At any rate not even interested in knowing my options at this point.  I am just going to wait and see what develops this evening between Tonie and I.  As so many times I could be all wrong here, Although something definitely feels wrong.

On to Dare # 33 with heart still working on all dares but concentrating on #28, 30.

Well I need to get some things done here so as before.  No winning the day just more reasons to pray, listen and keep smelling the wind for predators that are, or plan to prey on my marriage.

I will continue to pray for all those who dare to take the dare.

Bruno