Bob714

Day 6 was so powerful for me, I wasn’t ready to move on.  I kept re-reading it, looking up scriptures, and praying and meditating.  I was getting a pretty good understanding of the problem, but was unsure of how to go about solving it.  I need to rid myself of selfish desires and inappropriate lust, and especially rid myself of resentment of my wife for not giving me everything I feel I am entitled to.

Then I had an amazing thought: (sarcasm intended) read the next chapter in the Love Dare.  I read Day 7 and the wisdom of the book never ceases to amaze me.  Although not a 100% quick fix solution, I realized that spending time in the Depreciation Room intensifies the frustration, anger and bitterness.  If I continue to spend time in the Depreciation Room I will never be able to rid myself of bitterness and anger and replace it with pure love for my wife. 

I must choose to spend time in the Appreciation Room.  I have made feeble attempts at this since the first time I went through the book a year ago.  But it has been an intermittent effort to appreciate.  I have not made a concerted effort to STAY OUT OF THE DEPRECIATION ROOM!!!  I now COMMIT  to avoiding dwelling on negative things about my wife.  I have somewhat contemplated divorce as an acceptable option until this week.  Wednesday I went to consult with an attorney about my ‘rights’ considering that I am being kept out of my house for no legal reason.  I quickly found out I have no rights, to my house, to my property, or to my family.  All my wife has to say is that she and my daughter do not feel safe with me in the house and a judge will grant whatever restraining order she wants (as part of filing for divorce, which is what will happen if I push the issue.)

I have been spending time in the Depreciation Room, dwelling on all the negative things, as I contemplated divorce.  I must really cease and desist; I must put out all negative thoughts.  I must dwell on the positive aspects.  I must look for and focus on the positive.

Also: I was reading in Galatians 5: 13-15 this morning, ‘serve one another in love’.  I must focus on wanting what my wife wants.  Make her preferences my preferences.  Do what she wants me to do, because that is what she wants and believes is best for the family.  I must totally put aside any of my own wants or preferences.

My desire is to love my wife with a pure unconditional love.  I don’t think I have ever done this; I always had expectations (strings attached).  I am praying to know God’s love, and to be a reflection of that love to my wife.  I am praying that she will see this in me & feel this from me.  I am praying that I will be able to grow in this area, and never go back.

Thanks to all who are praying for us.

Bob

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